At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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