dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Randomize
