So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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