guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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