even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
