She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Slut skills are useful in every country.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
