It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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