Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
