Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you win again, gameday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
