Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
