I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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