Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
