and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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