you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
