Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
