Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
