this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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