i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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