operation harelip BJ is a go
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
