too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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