Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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