just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
