I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
