the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
