drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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