took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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