I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
