the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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