She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
