Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
