he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
