he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
