I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
