nut hugger
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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