Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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