My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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