it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone came in the potted fern
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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