if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
