Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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