You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
