i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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