I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
