he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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