Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
