Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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