i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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