my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Enjoy the penises
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
