i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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