I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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