Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They have beer where we have blood.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
