Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
