im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
